Trading Up

Most people in the world have at least a couple of exes lurking in their city. Although it’s possible to go about your business without Imagerunning into said exes, most cities are genuinely small, so the occasional run-in may be unavoidable (assuming you don’t have kids together, share a dog or anything else that requires regular contact). Short of ducking behind a tree, hiding behind a group of tourists or running into the nearest building after spotting your ex from three blocks down the street, you may be forced into conversation. When this happens, it is almost inevitable that you will look like shit. You could look like Adriana Lima 28 days out of the month and on one of the two in which Mount Etna is erupting on your face or your greasy mop of hair is piled on top of your head, you’ll see your ex. Other than walking around dressed to the nines all the time, what’s a girl to do? 

Step 1: Always be ready for the paparazzi. Not literally of course (unless you really are a supermodel, in which case, welcome to my blog). However, anyone who’s perused an issue of US Weekly knows that even the prettiest women in the world have bad face days. If you were famous, would you ever leave the house without wearing at least a little concealer? Not unless you wanted to end up in the Stars Without Makeup gallery. The same rules apply with your ex. If you are the type of person who cares what you look like when you run into this person, make sure that all of your blemishes, circles, and other imperfections are concealed. 

Step 2: Keep mascara in your bag. A touch of mascara immediately opens your eyes and brightens your look. If you have it in your bag, you can whip it out and apply a few coats before your ex gets close enough to engage in the awkward pleasantries. Just make sure that you let it dry before you blink, or you’ll look like you just got punched in the face. Or that you got home from the club a little over an hour ago. If that’s the look you’re going for, shake up your hair a little. 

Step 3: Put your pants on. Look, I understand that life gets busy and it’s not always possible to go through 15 outfits when getting ready in the morning. But unless you’re on your way to a doctor’s appointment or walking through the pharmacy looking like an extra on The Walking Dead and waiting for your Tamaflu prescription, there is no reason to wear pajamas in public. If you simply must be lazy, opt for yoga pants, a maxi skirt or leggings and a t-shirt dress. If you haven’t washed your hear, throw it into a top knot or put on a hat. Not only will you look decent when you run into your ex, you will also avoid having your photo submitted to People of Walmart. 

Step 4: Stop caring. Exes are exes for a reason. If your relationship was meant to be, you wouldn’t have broken up in the first place. Sure, it’s completely normal to want to be the one who rebounds first (preferably with someone better), but really, this five minute interlude shouldn’t ruin your whole day. Depending on how much time has passed since you broke up, you are probably totally over it. Besides, your ex has probably had to hold your hair back during after some wild nights, so your appearance won’t shock them. If you really can’t get over it, find something off kilter about their look and make a backhanded compliment. Sure it’s immature, but life is short. 

 

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